Of Marks And Men – 1/26/20 Royal Rumble!!!!

January 26, 2020 Author: Lou Federico

Alright!!! Here we go!!! ROYAL RUMBLE!!! 6 weeks of build up have all led to Houston… and the march to Wrestlemania has officially begun!!! we all know the card, Roman / Corbin, Becky / Asuka, Men’s and Women’s Rumbles, and Fiend / Bryan… Let’s FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!

5:44 – A legit title worthy match is on the pre show with Sheamus / Gable, you KNOW your show is gonna be awesome when that happens. Maybe someday they will actually get their heads out of their asses and put a belt on Gable. dude is everything you want in a champ.

5:48 – YAAAAAYYYY!!! a top wrist lock!!! you don’t see any of those anymore!!

6:00 – Well surprise surprise Gable Loses to Sheamus… completely average match, did the job of putting Sheamus over, but it will be forgotten quickly.

6:06 – Hey I have an idea, lets completely minimize your United States Championship by burying the match in the Pre Show, not only that but because your World Title is MIA, your MAIN title is being contested in the PRE-SHOW

6:20 – Man the crowd is getting one hell of a match with Andrade / Carrillo, but they couldn’t sound LESS interested, complete and utter silence. This is why we can’t have nice things… Took a Hurricarana from the top fucking rope to elicit a reaction.

7:06 – OK I know it’s been 46 minutes, but that pre show is L.O.N.G. and this is the first actual match of the PPV, so lets see how this Reign’s / Corbin match shakes out. Seeing as how it’s “No DQ” I’m thinking some heavy interference will be the order of the day.

7:22 – Wow this match has sucked balls, and well look at that, Roode and Ziggler have interfered… did I call that or what?? I should write a script for WWE.

7:31 – Well that match sucked, outside of Corbin getting a Porta Potty dumped on him (literally) it was forgettable. And honestly when Jimmy Usos had the best spot of the match, and he wasn’t even IN the match technically I think that tells you all you need to know.

7:38 – Womens’ rumble time!!!! and Alexa is #1…. wow… and Bianca Belair #2… Now you have me intrigued….

7:42 – Mighty Molly??? WTF!!??!!

7:44 – Nikki Cross, now this could be interesting. Will a turn happen? will Bliss go heel? I’m not sure as they make a lot of $$$$ together.

7:54 – Otis!!!!!! that was freaking epic!!!! Mandy landed on him and he lifted her back in!!!

7:57 – I’m liking the permutations involved with Kairi Sane….

8:00 – The look of sadness on Otis’ face when Mandy got eliminated broke my heart.

8:03 – Well if we’ve learned anything, we’ve learned that the push is well and truly on for Bianca Belair, 6 elims so far.

8:08 – Bianca clears the ring, and now Charlotte… Be careful Bianca Charlotte likes to hurt people, mostly because she is unsafe…

8:23 – Zelina Vega!!!! FUCK YES!!!!!

8:23 – Tell you what Beth Phoenix’s head is fucked up!!! she must have a huge gash on it, and I have no idea how it happened.

8:27 – Tegan!!!!! Lets fucking GOOOOOO!!!!!!

8:38 – Absolute fucking joke that Charlotte wins the Rumble, we get a Becky / Charlotte AGAIN??!!?? what. the. absolute. fuckedy. fuck. is going on here. Just have to get her to that 17th title so she can beat her father.. hoping to do it before he dies?? is that why you keep throwing belts at her?? What a fucking JOKE…

8:57 – I’m not sure why that match ended the way it did, are we going with the “hero’s journey” angle?? fight through the adversity?? Seemed primed for her to win with the way they were pushing her lately.

9:05 – Oh boy… a strap match in red lights, were we already know the outcome, this is gonna be awesome… Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy #sarcasm

9:10 – Holy shit!!! no red lighting!!!! I’m actually impressed!!!!

9:26 – Whelp, that ended about as predicted… Bray retains. I’ll be intrigued to see how he eventually, or by whom he gets beat.

9:31 – honestly this PPV has been quite meh, especially after last night. I can’t understand how uneven this shit can be. One night is absolute fire, the next is the definition of mediocrity.

10:02 – Becky / Asuka giving us the match of the night so far, loved so many visuals in that match, Becky on her knees screaming ASUKA as she was getting kicked, the looks on her face every time the pin didn’t happen, and the final spot kicking the mist into Asuka’s face and causing the tap out.. All wonderful stuff.

10:21 – Go back and read what I wrote / tweeted the day they announced this Brock in at #1 thing, and my worst fucking fears are coming true so far. God I hope it changes, but so far NOPE….

10:41 – I’ve never been so happy to be wrong, he only buried 1/2 the roster including a pair of former champions, the Smackdown tag team champions, the NXT North American champion, and Brawn Strowman. not a bad body count. #sarcasm

10:48 – EDGE is BACK!!!!!

10:48 – BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! aaaaaaand as fast as I typed that he got eliminated… now I’m sad….

11:00 – Well 30 was a disappointment, Seth?? really??? I would have given any amount of $$$ to have Punk back.


Alright, good show overall, by good I mean mediocre… see you all tomorrow

Until Next Time Be Good To Your Fellow Nerd,


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