Rainbow Brite #3 – A Review by Lady Ganache

April 12, 2019 Author: Lady Ganache PoC Guest Columnist

Welp – I typically like to start my reviews with stories of the Normie watching the Jo(h)ns in their natural habitat.  Sadly, I didn’t acquire any new information or data for the month of January. (yeah… I realize it is now the end of March – eh-hem middle of April.  I’m terrible at finishing things)

The Jo(h)ns attended an event at Boom Tube in Southington – for which Manster and I created some art that is for sale on the wall of this comic book store.  Manster’s Harley Quinn is epic and a must see – this dude has art skills for days! I created a My Little Bat Pony because “my talent is rusty” (smile and nod at me – it’s okay – bless my heart).  The bonus is that I haven’t gotten shanked yet for crossing some sort of ethical comic line by combining Batman with MLP – so, I’m feeling pretty good about that.

Since I don’t have any new stories – I’m going to pull from my memories.  This is going to be Sir Jon-centric so hang onto your murkins.

Before Sir Jon became a household name…  I met him at a local comic shop (where he and Ganache started their tumultuous and passionate bromance) while Ganache was picking up his book order.  Sir Jon asked me if I liked that Ganache collected comic books. To which I replied, “I don’t not like it”. He thought this reply was hysterical and laughed loudly.  I smiled and nodded while I wondered if I blew a snot out of my nose or ripped the seam of my pants. What was so funny? So – when Ganache and I got back into the car I asked, who was that guy?  Ganache gave me a summary of this Johnson guy. I then started referring to him as Van Wilder – this was a short-lived nickname.

After this – I met him a few more times while he, Ganache and Vinnie were recording their former podcast – From the Hip.  (Also during this time, I was going through some very serious medical challenges – this information is important for a story further along in this “review”).

As I hung out with the Jo(h)ns more often I acquired the following information about Sir Jon and his life.  Here is a list:

1)      Hovel House was built for parties – special feature: carnie neighbors who brought over random meats.  (Hint: don’t eat the meat)

2)      Roommate: Ginger the cat (R.I.P.)

3)      He kept the Christmas card we sent him on his refrigerator – awwwwww…  (I’m outing you for being a human with feelings, Sir Jon – cause this was when you started growing on me – so, deal with it!)

4)      He’s a grump!  I mean this isn’t news to anyone, really….But being only 29 (in vampire years) makes his cantankerous ways ahead of the old man curve so… get off his lawn and do not bring condiments in squeeze bottles!

5)      He transforms in to every family’s “drunk uncle” when he has had a few dozen beers with shots of Malort.  He has a cuddly phase and then it goes downhill from there…

6)      “Drunk uncle” can only be toned down by a late-night drive thru visit to McDonalds.  Where he will yell something like, “What is that big one doing with your credit card” in reference to the McDonalds employee preparing our food – within earshot of his “drunken whisper”.  Enjoy your Big Mac with extra loogey.

7)      Kavorka – I have seen it happen with my own eyes.  Sir Jon has the lure of animal. It usually seems to work strongest on waitresses and bartenders.

8)      And strangely – this particular story is where the Grinch made his way into my heart like an endearing wart….  We were attending The Countess’s effigy burning party and it was the first time I felt good enough to hang socially since finishing up a year of medical treatments.  Drunk Uncle (during the cuddly phase) told me that he and I would live for another hundred years at least. Now – I know this sounds crazy and you might wonder where my sanity is…  but it was strangely comforting…. This led to me wondering if Jon has the Kavorka because he is really Vampire.

Which then led me to wonder if I’d be okay with being a vampire…. The pros:

• I enjoy wearing black – a lot!  Me getting crazy is sporting some charcoal or dark blue.
• I don’t like mornings and would prefer to sleep in
• I’m already translucently super pale – so no transitional discomfort there
• The dark circles under my eyes?  On point per vampire fashion!! Looking anemic and tired is trendy AF.
• Fading into the shadows when I’m feeling socially awkward or bored would be considered cool by the other vampires – instead of strange or antisocial.  They’d whisper in awe to each other – saying things like “I vant to be like that.”
• The sun already burns my skin and eyes – again fading into shadows… a skill I’ve already acquired.
• Cool outfits – crushed velvet?  Don’t mind if I do! Summer of George!
• Being unemployed and still fiscally sound somehow…  (now I’m not sure if this is a fact, but it seems vampires don’t worry about money or have jobs – unless one considers partying like a mother-effing boss a job)
• I would overuse “bah-sketti” (What We Do in the Shadows reference)
• Our grocery bill would go down/victim number would go up (that’s just basic Economics – cost of doing business).  I’d consider a Dexter-type victim approach…

9) Sir Jon HATES lists.  (He just had to edit a list within a list about himself!  Moo-hahahahaha (evil laugh).) Edit: Lady Ganache had to edit this review… plan ruined!!!

Now for the actual review:

Dynamite Entertainment
Writer: Jeremy Whitley
Artist: Brittney Williams
Colorist: Valentina Pinto
Letterer: Taylor Esposito
Editor: Kevin Ketner

I got Cover B which is the classic cover.  It features old school Rainbow Brite gardening with four of the Sprites:  The orange sprite named O.J. (no, the glove didn’t fit sprite O.J. either), the red sprite named Romeo, the green sprite named Lucky and Twink.

Issue number 3 picks up right where #2 left off – with Murky and Lurky.  Rainbow Brite is holding the star scepter and her outfit has magically changed to more of what the 80’s fans remember.  Her outfit has a modern twist, the skirt covers more leg and she might even be wearing black shorts underneath. The rainbow sleeves and boots have more of a smooth look and less off a bulky space outfit vibe.

In this issue, Rainbow Brite is able to successfully get away from Murky and Lurky.  She learns more about how to use the star scepter, returns the light and color back to a shadow hound (who turns into an adorable puppy with yellow, red and green fur – if this was a real thing… Ganache would have to get ready for dog number 3), that the star scepter can run out of power and that her destiny may be that she is the hero Rainbow Brite!

The story continues with her and Twink going to the world of Red Mesas.  The last page she meets Red Flare – the last free Color Guard. Red Flare was originally named Red Butler.  His hair and outfit has changed as well.

The building friendship between Rainbow Brite and Twink is a fun read.  I love the subtle female power undertones.

“Nobody starts out as a hero….” – Twink

Tags: cartoon, Comic Books, Comics, Dynamite Comics, Dynamite Entertainment, Rainbow Brite

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